The Redhunter

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January 26, 2005

Confirmed Republicans

My cats, that is. They're confirmed Republicans.

You see, this weeks Homespun Bloggers Symposium question is a bit offbeat, which is a good thing as it reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously. The question comes courtesy of Paulie, of The Commons at Paulie World.

"I've notice that a seemingly large proportion of the blogosphere is composed of "cat bloggers." What are the political parties your cats belong to, and how did you derive their determination? Please reply for each cat, with examples. If you do not own a cat, could you post on how you think cats determine their political affiliations (purely speculative, I know), or why cat owners are such nuts for their cats?

The Redhunter is a confirmed "cat person". I own two mixed-breed cats, one male one female, who are 10 and 11 years old respectively. Both properly "fixed", of course.

I assure you that they are both definately Republican.

And Paulie, with all due respect, there is nothing speculative about a cat's political affiliation; they're all Republicans. When owned by Democrats they simply keep it a secret.

Athena is the female. She is marked by dark-grey and white patches. Of the two she is the most conservative politically. In fact, I think that although not a mother herself she is secretly a member of the "Security Moms". Always alert to potential danger, she is the first to sense potential danger. Any strange sound, including things I certainly cannot hear, and she jumps up like a flash and goes on the alert; ears perked, eyes searching.

Bengal, as in Bengal Tiger, is an orange tabby cat. Like his feline companion, he is ever alert to newcomers. His role is to sit in the front window and watch for the arrival of a car. Upon seeing someone come to the driveway, he rushes downstairs to meet them, or more properly, check them out. If the visitor is acceptable, he knows he has a new friend. However, if the visitor does not pass, then his owner knows that the visitor may be unsuitable as a friend for him also.

Both cats share the job of making sure that all packages and purchases are safe. All new arrivals, whether packages through the mail or items purchased at the store are given a thorough inspection. Only when both have given their approval (signaled by a sudden attitude of indifference to the aforementioned package) can their owner be certain that there are no potential threats.

So our living arrangements are mutually beneficial. The cats provide security monitoring, and display a love for their person* with loud purring. I provide food, shelter, medical attention, and meet their need for excitement by trailing a string around the house etc. Neither party gets or demands something for nothing; the true definition of conservative Republican!

* As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

And as for you cat haters;

"People who hate cats will come back as mice in their next life"

Faith Resnick

Update

Although John McCaslin of the Washington Times agrees with me that cats are Republicans, Times reader Seamus Finbar begs to disagree;

"Frequently I consult my 165 pound Rottweiler-Mastiff when I am stumped in the universal language mathematics. His name is Max," says the physicist.

"Naturally Max is a Republican," he continues. "Even his eyes are reddish, not blueish. They reflect the color in each state of our republic last Election Day. Max snarled when he read the title of your [column]: 'Left-leaning dogs.' "

As for cats, Mr. Finbar educates: "Cats live within the boundary conditions of their own solipsistic little world; are unstable and unpredictable even today. They are loyal only to those who feed them and stroke their fur. Seems that cats are Democrats to me."